UST Has Left The Building By LauraBF aka. Bratling aka. BrightFeather aka. Shadowstar Permission given to Stacy's site, FTP archive, and both FKfanfic archives. All others, please ask permission first. JAG, Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, Forever Knight, and The Pretender are all properties of various people and do not belong to me. (Though I'd be happy to trade my collection of bumper stickers for all of them!) If you haven't guessed this is probably going to be one of the *weirdest* crossovers to date. This takes off of season 3 of Lois and Clark before "Ordinary People," three months after Forever Knight's "Last Knight" (yes, both Nick and Nat survived), after JAG Season 9's "What If," and three months after The Pretender's "Island Of The Haunted." My thanks to my beta readers for looking at this strangeness. Okay, now for spoiler explanations. In JAG's "What If," Harm dreamed of what might have happened if he and his sometimes partner, Lt. Colonel Sarah Mackenzie actually got together. Mac has been dating Clayton Webb all season after telling Harm early in the season that a relationship between them will never work. In Lois and Clark before "Ordinary People," Clark has proposed to Lois without telling her that he is Superman. Unfortunately for him, she's already figured it out, and is now both hurt and mad at him. In "Last Knight," Natalie suggested a last ditch effort to cure Nick of his vampirism; for him to take a little of her blood at a time in order for him to transform back into a human being. He did, but took too much, leaving her close to death and himself still a vampire. Rather than turning her into a vampire so that they could be together, he decided that he couldn't condemn her to the life he hates and asks his vampire father, LaCroix, to kill him and let her die. Jarod and Miss Parker *almost* kissed in "Island Of The Haunted," but they were interrupted. Later, they were surrounded by Centre goons who, because of the fact that Parker has pretender potential and Jarod is a pretender, would either kill them or imprison them in the Centre as breeding stock than let them be together and free. (A pretender is a genius who can become anything they want to be.) Whew! *That* took a while. Oh, yeah. Miss Parker and Kate Pike (JAG) were both played by Andrea Parker. ;) Good thing to know. ~*~*~*~ HG Wells stared into his device and winced. "This simply will not do," he fussed. "Not only are Lois and Clark fighting, but some of the most inspirational couples of their time are having problems, too. Something must be done." He sighed and looked at the device again. "This timeline has been altered," he said with a puzzled frown. "I suppose it is my sworn duty to intervene before the future is irreparably damaged." He pushed a few buttons and smiled when a window appeared. "I shall have to contract the services of a therapist for them," he murmured, then walked into the window. It winked out of existence with a pop, leaving the comfortable room empty and silent. ~*~*~*~ HG Wells smiled as he looked over the four unconscious couples in his favorite time-pocket before he flooded the room with wake-up juice and popped in with Dr. Friskin in tow. "Lois, Clark, Mr. Rabb, Miss Mackenzie, Jarod, Miss Parker, Monsieur de Brabant, and Ms. Lambert," he greeted them cheerfully. "After watching the eight of you bicker and fight, I decided that *someone* had to intervene and set all of you on the correct paths. This is Dr. Friskin," he motioned to the mousy psychiatrist beside him. "All of you will remain here until you resolve your differences. Call it... couples' therapy." He smiled at the four couples. "Anything you say here is outside the scope of your timeline, and will not leave this time-bubble. The good doctor here has agreed to be returned to her timeline before she left, so there will be no record of this time." With that, he punched some buttons on his hand-held device and left through a window. Dr. Friskin walked over to a large leather chair, sat down, crossed her ankles, and picked up a note pad. "Please, join me," she said gesturing towards four love seats that were grouped in a semi-circle in front of her. "Please sit with your partner," she requested. Jarod shot a nervous look at Parker before complying. Ham carefully sat as far away from Mac as he could manage and still be on the loveseat. Lois sat down and pointedly ignored Clark, while Nat reached tentatively for Nick's hand, only to be rebuffed. "Hm, I see from your body language that all of you have been fighting, is this true?" "No-yes," Harm, Mac, Jarod and Parker answered together. "Yes," Nat, Nick, Lois, and Clark answered. "So which is it?" She asked the two couples that couldn't agree. Harm and Mac went first. "We *aren't* fighting," Harm protested. "In fact, since she said that there would never be a chance for us to have a relationship in Paraguay, we've been barely speaking." "And who's fault is that?" Mac demanded. "I left *seventeen* messages for you when you were flying, and you never answered one. If you'd just *fought* for us to have a relationship, then we'd have it, and we *might* even be working on the baby deal early!" Harm rolled his eyes. "Riiiight. You never let me know what you want, Mac! You once asked me what I'd give up for you, and I proved that, so you started dating Webb!" Lois half-smiled. "Sounds like when I was dating Daniel Scardino; I couldn't have Mr. Right, so I settled for Mr. Right-Now." "Hold that thought, Lois," Dr. Friskin murmured. "Now, Jarod and Parker, what seems to be your problem? Are the two of you fighting?" "We're not together." Parker said flatly. "At all. And it's *his* fault!" "That's not fair!" Jarod protested. "You're the one who said it was 'I run, you chase, just like always'; and you know as well as I do that the Centre will either kill us or keep us as breeding stock to make more little pretenders to exploit if we try!" "Pez-head, if you'd been keeping track of the Centre like you usually do, you'd know that everything has changed. We don't have to worry about the Centre anymore, at all." Mac took a closer look at Miss Parker. "Hey, wait a minute! Aren't you Kate Pike?" "Who the hell is Kate Pike?" Parker demanded, flipping her dark hair over one shoulder. "Never mind," Mac said quickly. "Nick, Nat, what seems to be the problem with the two of you?" Dr. Friskin asked. "I've seen records of your histories and the history of your relationships, but I'd like to hear what the problem is from you." "Nick refused to bring me across, and until he does, we're stuck in limbo," Nat said, half-glaring at Nick. "Nat, I can't condemn you to this darkness," Nick whispered. "And now that I've tasted your blood, it's damnably hard to not drain you again." He ran a hand through his blond curls. "I can't risk your life," he said softly. "I can ask LaCroix to do it," she threatened. "No," he said, his blue eyes wide with panic. "He's already threatened to kill you more than once, Nat; *please* don't invite him to do it!" "Oookaaay," Dr. Friskin said. "Lois and Clark, what seems to be your problem?" "I can't trust him," Lois said flatly. "He *lied* to me about his alter-ego for two *years*, and just when I got over *that*, he broke up with me for my own good!" "Why did you do that, Clark?" Dr. Friskin prodded gently. "Because if I lost her, I'd be lost," Clark admitted. "I know the feeling," Harm muttered. "Better to just be friends than to risk losing her for good." "Bad guys come after her all the time because of her association with Superman," Clark continued. "If we got married, then the danger gets worse!" "So..." Dr. Friskin said slowly. "Harm, Clark, Jarod, and Nick, you're all afraid that if you attempt a deeper relationship, you will lose your significant others?" "Yes!" The four men chorused. They subsided into silence as Dr. Friskin wrote something on her note pad. Mac broke the quiet. She turned his face towards her. "Harmon, do you love me?" she asked forcefully. Harm bit his lip and shifted in his seat. "Yes," he said finally. "I've been in love with you so long that I don't know what it's like *not* to love you." It took all of three seconds for Mac to launch herself at him and claim his lips in a passionate kiss. "Webb is history," she murmured in between kisses. "Good," he answered, gasping for breath. A window opened behind them and HG Wells appeared. He tugged them backwards into the window without breaking their hold on each other. Dr. Friskin turned to Jarod and Parker. "Jarod, Miss Parker, if that Centre place that you're worried about is history, what's stopping you?" Jarod smirked and turned to Parker. "Good question. For the record, Melissa, I've loved you since we were ten." He leaned forward and captured her lips in a heartbreakingly tender kiss. Parker pulled back in shock at hearing her first name before leaning into the kiss." "And I've loved you just as long," she admitted in between kisses. A few seconds later HG Wells reappeared and took them away, too. "Now, that leaves me with the four of you," Dr. Friskin said with a smile. Natalie and Nick stared off into space, obviously uncomfortable with the whole situation. Clark spoke up first. "I'm sorry, Lois. I know I apologized before, but I *swear* that I'll never do that again." "I still don't know if I can trust you," she whispered. "Well, according to your files..." Dr Friskin stopped to look through her notes. "You neither trust nor respect him, and the two of you fight all the time." "That's not true," Lois exploded. "I do *too* respect him, and I've trusted him with my life since I've known him!" "What about your heart, Lois?" Dr Friskin asked. "If you don't trust him with that, then I don't know why he puts up with you." "I put up with him because I'm *completely* in love with him!" she exclaimed. "Good," Clark whispered. "Because I love you, too." He leaned over and kissed her, then stood up and pulled her as close as possible. Nick watched the couple kiss, thinking longingly of the few kisses he'd shared with Natalie. His control broke as Lois and Clark's kisses got longer and deeper. He reached over and grabbed Nat's hand. "Forgive me, Nat?" he asked. "I still hate the idea of you stuck in my darkness, but I can deny you nothing." He bowed his head. "If you truly want this, I will help you control the beast after you come into my world." Nat leaned over and kissed him, stroking her tongue against his fangs. He pulled away as his eyes turned golden and his fangs dropped. "Not here, Nat," he growled, his voice made deeper by the emergence of his beast. "I have to prepare so that I don't drain you completely." Nat nodded. "As long as I have you, I can wait," she said with a smile. HG Wells stepped through the window again and smiled at the two remaining couples. "Cheerio! Ready to get going?" The four of them nodded and walked towards his window. Within minutes, they were back where they'd begun. Lois sat on the couch cuddled up to Clark. "So are we okay?' she asked. "Yeah," Clark said. "We're better than okay." He smiled at her as she reached up and pulled off his glasses. He leaned down and kissed her gently. "I love you," he murmured. "I love you, too," she replied before leaning forward for another kiss. ~*~*~*~ Jarod inched his hand up to the hem of Miss Parker's skirt and groaned. "I don't know why we didn't do this a long time ago," he gasped. Parker unbuttoned his shirt and slid it off of him. "We had too many people in the line of fire," she said as she started to kiss his chest. Jarod walked backwards toward her bed. "And we don't anymore?" "No," she said between kisses just before they toppled over on to the bed. Those were the last words they spoke for a long time as they finally gave into the feelings that they'd kept hidden for as long as they could remember. ~*~*~*~ Nick drank his fourth bottle of human blood before carrying a case of it up to his bedroom where Natalie was waiting. "Are you sure, Nat?' he asked, looking over to where she was laying in his bed. Nat nodded. "We'll have eternity to find a cure, Nick; as long as we're together, it doesn't matter." Nick allowed his eyes to turn golden and his fangs to drop. "My love, we shall have our eternity." He climbed on the bed and started to kiss her, unbuttoning her collar for greater access. "I would like nothing more to make love to you right here," he admitted, pulling back from her. "But I'm afraid if I do, I won't be able to stop." Natalie smiled. "We have forever for that," she pointed out. Nick simply nodded, then started to lick her neck, preparing the vein. He sank his fangs into her neck gently and began to drink, savoring her essence. Her heartbeat slowed, getting closer and closer to death as he drank her life-giving blood. He stopped and tore open his wrist, then dripped blood into her mouth. "Come back to me, Natalie," he whispered huskily. "Do not go through the door." Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at him with golden eyes. He reached down and handed her a bottle. "Drink, my beautiful Natalie." She finished the first bottle in record time, so he handed her another. "Mon coeur, ma vie, bois," he whispered. ~*~*~*~ Harm ran his hand up and down the smooth skin of Mac's back. "I love you, Sarah," he said softly. "I love you, too," she murmured. "Why do you think we took so long to get here?" "Maybe we weren't ready," he said, with a hint of his usual smile. "Let's not talk about the past right now." He grinned at her. "It always gets us into trouble; we can do that... later." Harm kissed her, allowing himself the luxury of exploring her mouth thoroughly. "Talking is overrated," Mac agreed breathlessly. "If we'd done this earlier, we could've saved ourselves some trouble." Harm stopped for a few minutes to breathe. "Marry me," he said suddenly. "Yes," she answered. ~*~*~*~ HG Wells dropped Dr. Friskin in her own universe ten minutes before he had actually took her. He examined his device and smiled. "My work here is done," he said, then pulled up his window and vanished. End.