Thoughts of Home
M. Edison

Disclaimers: I don't own any of the characters in this story save
Aeoien and Julia Valerian. Nor do I own the concepts of either show.
Just borrowing them for awhile.

Category: Alternate Universe, Crossover with Stargate SG~1.

Feedback: Yes please. Send to

Archive: Gossamer, Ephemeral

Keywords: 1st POV -- Samantha's POV

Spoiler: None that I can think of.

Rating: G

Note: This AU is my own attempt to explain what happened to Samantha --
therefore, in this AU, the episode Closure never happened. Oh, and you
might need a bit of a familiarity with Stargate SG~1, and the Tok'ra,
but overall, this shouldn't be too confusing to read.

Summary: Far away from home, Samantha marks the birthday of her brother
by thinking of home.

Many thanks to Ellsie who beta'd this story for me.

Thoughts of Home
by M. Edison


October 13, 2000

It's Fox's birthday today. He's thirty-nine.

Its been twenty-nine years since they took me, the Asgard rebels.
Twenty-nine years since they tore me away from the brother I adored.
Yes, he did drive me absolutely crazy on occasion but isn't that what
older brothers are supposed to do? Pick on their little sisters in
every way possible? Its like a rite of passage.

I miss him. But then, I've missed him every day since they took me
without fail. I can't tell you how long I've spent wondering about him.
What did he do when he grew up? What does he look like now? Is he
married? Does he have any children? Is there a little passel of new
Mulders waiting for me to spoil them rotten? Does he tell them about
me? What would he think of the life his baby sister is now living?

Its like something out of one of those sci fi shows that used to be on
tv. Star Trek or something. Young girl kidnapped by aliens from her
home to be used in an experiment to create alien/human hybrids only to
be rescued a few months later by even more aliens. Only these aliens
give her a home, teach her, then offer her a place among them on her
eighteenth birthday.

Sounds crazy, huh? Well it's true.

I don't blame Daddy for what he had to do. There's no way he or his
associates could have known the aliens they were in contact with were
only a rebel faction of a much larger race. The Asgard as a whole are
quite peaceful. But the rebels that made contact with that small band
of men on earth were definitely anything but peaceful. Thank God the
Tok'ra found us.

See, the ship I was on got into a firefight with a Goa'uld mothership
and crashed. It's a miracle we survived the fight but somehow we did.
We weren't alone in our crash though. Turns out the Tok'ra had fled the
battle to the planet we crashed on so when I escaped -  after the crash
my captors were a little preoccupied to worry about a little girl - I
stumbled across the Tok'ra. One of them, an older woman who hosted
Selmak, was the one that found me after I stole some food from their
camp. (The food the Asgard served was nutritionally suitable but tasted
awful!) She - and Selmak - took the time to listen to my story and took
pity on me. She/They - no I have never really gotten used to the tenses
when it comes to describing how we live - decided to take me back to
their base and by the time the rebels realized I was missing, it was
too late. We were already going through the Stargate. When we reached
the Tok'ra's home base both she and Selmak petitioned the Tok'ra High
Council to let me stay.

Obviously she/they were successful because here I am. Now, where was I?
Oh right...They gave me a home. It was nice too. On a world the Goa'uld
knew nothing about where I could grow up and several Tok'ra could teach
me. They know so much! If Earth knew some of the secrets the Tok'ra
keep...Wow, going to the moon would seem like so much chickenfeed.

It was a lovely planet. I liked it there. I missed my mom and dad..and
Fox, but I liked living with the Tok'ra, and I learned a lot from them.
They tried to find a way to get me home but short of taking a ship to
Earth, there was no way. Their Stargate was non-functional. But -
although I did want to see my family again - I wasn't upset. See, when
I turned eighteen they offered me a chance to become a Tok'ra. There
wasn't a symbiote ready yet but they wanted to offer the chance to me
because one eventually would.

The idea fascinated me. And it wasn't like I wasn't used to the idea.
Most everyone I'd met since being taken in by the Tok'ra were hosts
themselves so I'd had plenty of exposure to the idea. In fact, I'd
hoped they would offer.

About a year or so later I was asked by Aeoien (pronounced A-O-Wen) if
I would become her host as her's dying from injuries sustained in a
battle with the Goa'uld. Having heard many stories about Aeoien from my
tutors growing up, I jumped at the chance.

Its been an interesting seventeen years. No, not interesting...wild.
Aeoien's like the wild older sister I never had. The stories I could
tell...well, let's just say they aren't fit for polite company. Its
become so its hard to tell where she leaves off and I start. I wonder
what Fox would think of this unique relationship I find myself in.
Sharing my body with someone else. Its interesting to say the least.

Aeoien and I get along wonderfully. And before you ask, yes we do have
a system worked out for romantic relationships. Each gives the other as
much privacy as we can. Translation: when one is, shall we say,
*indisposed* the other retreats into our mind as far as possible.
Fortunately, we haven't had to worry about that much. Most of the men
that we've been interested in over the last seventeen years have all
managed to accept our situation or they've been Tok'ra themselves and
understood the situation. There have been a few complete disasters but
you've got to take the rough with the smooth, right? Speaking of
smooth, there was one time where I was interested in the host and
Aeoien was interested in the symbiote. The..ahem...well, you know what
I mean. It was unbelievable.

Sorry, I wandered didn't I?

I was talking about my brother.

Its his birthday and, although its too late for me to surprise him
*today*, I plan on surprising him with a visit.

Apparently, a few years ago, the Tau'ri - I mean humans - learned how
to make their Stargate work. They stumbled onto our existence about a
year after taking out Ra, one of the most powerful Goa'uld system lords
out there, freeing a planet called Abydos. Not bad for beginners.
Anyway, not too long after that, they encountered us. Aeoien lost a
good friend in the process. Jolinar. They'd been friends for a very
long time. Actually, Aeoien introduced Jolinar to Martouf, another
host. It was the best thing she ever did, in her opinion. They turned
out to have a solid, and long, relationship.

That's one thing that bonds us together even more. Aeoien and I
understand loss. I lost my home and my family while she loses hosts,
friends...I think that's why she's so gung ho to get me back to Earth,
to see Fox. Family's family. Too important to miss out on. I wasn't
even the one who first suggested it. She did. She brought it up to
Commander Valerian when she was here meeting with the Tok'ra. Commander
Julia Valerian is a US Naval Intelligence officer, apparently on semi-
permanent loan to the SGC. She's been working with the Tok'ra to set up
a new intelligence network. Brilliant woman. And very helpful on the
personal level too. When Aeoien explained my situation she immediately
invited us to accompany her to Earth when she returns tomorrow. She had
to clear it with General Hammond first but apparently he has no
problems with it.

I've never been so nervous in my entire life. Funny thing too. Aeoien
and I have handled some very delicate diplomatic negotiations for the
Tok'ra on a couple of occasions. We've dealt with dignitaries of the
highest level on a dozen different worlds and never flinched. But now,
at the thought of facing my brother after nearly thirty years, I am so
nervous I'm shaking.

Does he remember what happened, how I was taken?

Will he believe me when I tell him about Aeoien, the Tok'ra, and what
I'm doing here? I mean, it is a bizarre story. I was abducted by aliens
almost thirty years ago and now I'm living as one? How will he react
when I tell him the Tok'ra are as much home to me now as Earth and our
house were when I was a child?

Aeoien tells me to stop worrying. What will be will be...Very human
sentiment of her don't you think? She is right though. I can handle

I hope.

Oh I hope...

To find Fox again only to lose him? I don't know if I can handle that.

I don't want to find out. But still...I have to see him.

I want to tell him that he's still a buttmunch.

And that I love him.