A Mix of Characters
Flatlander (Danielle Ducrest)

Disclaimers: Dilbert is owned and created by Scott Davis. Highlander is
owned by Davis/Panzer Productions, Gaumont Television, and Rysher
Entertainment. Star Trek: Voyager is owned by Paramount. The Dreamcast
Characters are owned by someone other than me. The cop with the gun and
the mysterious man with the knife are mine. Janell and Frank Ducrest
belong to themselves, and so do I. David belongs to himself, too, but
does my every bidding (I wish!). The only money I've made recently came
from my family as Christmas presents, and I've spent it all. No one
paid me to write this. I don't think anyone would have, anyway. 


Frank Ducrest and his kids, David and Danielle, walked through the
front door. The tv and microwave were on, and Janell was fixing dinner.
"Hi," she said as they walked in.

"Hi," they said. 

A little later they were sitting around the round table in the living
room, watching Star Trek: Voyager. This episode was about Captain
Janeway's ancestor, Shannon O'Donnel, in the year 2000. No one was
paying attention to it, however. Danielle was daydreaming about Peter
Wingfield, the actor who played Methos on Highlander: The Series, and
the Highlander Fan Fiction story she had been reading less than an hour
ago. David was dreaming about his new Dreamcast games. Frank was
dreaming about the Dilbert comic he'd read that day, and Janell was
dreaming about her most recent mystery novel. Then, for some strange
reason, one thought entered their minds: Man, I wish this was

None of them were sure what happened next. A blinding light coming from
the tv filled the room. When they could see again, they weren't sure
they could trust their eyes. 

The scene on the tv had changed. It didn't show Shannon O'Donnel
driving in her truck. Instead, the Dilbert characters were there.
Dilbert walked up to the screen and knocked. A glass-like sound was his
answer. Then he took a step forward. His leg appeared in the Ducrest's
living room. Next came the rest of his body. "Hello." He said to the
Ducrest's opened mouths and wide eyes. If they hadn't been seated, all
of them would have fainted. 

The scene on the tv changed again. Now it showed Methos engaged in
battle with Kristin in Highlander: The Series, ep. "Chivalry". When the
Quickening was over, Methos and Duncan turned and looked at the
Ducrests and Dilbert. Then they walked toward the screen and stepped
through it. "Hello," Duncan said. 

"It looks like my adoring fans couldn't keep me away," Methos said, his
eyes twinkling. 

"Your fans?" Duncan said. "It's my show, remember? It does say
'Highlander' in the title. You aren't a Highlander."

"Oh yeah? I have been many things in my long life."

While they bickered, the scene on the tv changed again. Now it showed
several characters from David's Dreamcast games. They walked over to
the screen and stepped through. Then they and the two Immortals were
engaged in battle. Dilbert had made his way to the computer, and was
busy buying stock against Wally. 

The scene on the tv changed one more time. A guy with a gun and another
dark man with a knife that had a hooded face stepped through the tv
into the now desolate living room because of certain sharp objects and
super powers. The Ducrests had moved to a safe position in the next
room. The guy with a gun, a cop, pointed his gun at the battling
Dreamcast characters and Immortals and said, "Freeze!" Some of the
Dreamcast characters looked at him and came towards him, while others
headed toward the guy with a knife. Duncan and Methos tried to distract
them, but to no avail. 

A conversation at the computer behind the Ducrests made Danielle look
over there. Dogbert was perched on the top of the computer, having a
conversation with Dilbert. "How did you get here?" Danielle asked him. 

"I have my sources," Dogbert said. 

Her attention went back to the living room. The Dreamcast characters
had left via the television, and so had the men with the gun and the
knife. Methos and Duncan looked behind them at the Ducrests. They had
been watching the Dreamcast characters leave. Duncan stepped forward
and gave them an apologetic look. "Sorry about the mess," he said. He
reached into his long coat and took out his wallet. He handed two Ben
Franklins to Frank. "I think that should cover the damages."

Frank looked down at the two hundred American dollars in his hand.
"Thanks," he said, putting the money in his wallet. 

"Look, we've gotta go," Methos said. The scene on the television
changed back to the field where Methos had fought Kristin. "Bye."

"Bye." Janell, Danielle, Frank, and David said. 

"Bye," Duncan said as he followed his "old" friend through the tv
screen. The scene changed back to show Wally, Alice, and their boss at

Dogbert and Dilbert appeared behind the Ducrests. "Excuse us," they

"Bye," Dilbert said, walking through the screen. 

"Chow." Dogbert said before following Dilbert. 

The scene on the tv screen changed back to Star Trek: Voyager. The only
evidence that the others had been here was the no longer familiar
living room, the increasing bill on Internet time, and the two hundred
bucks in Frank's wallet. The Ducrests looked at each other. Finally
David broke the silence. "Well, we were going to move anyway."

Danielle looked annoyed, Janell sighed and began to laugh, and Frank
pretended to bonk David on the head. Then all four of them began to
laugh. When they had calmed down, Danielle said, "I wish Methos hadn't

Janell, Frank, and David looked at her. "No way. Get that thought out
of your head this instant, Danielle, or you may loose your head." Frank
said, trying to be serious but failing because of the smile that formed
in the corners of his mouth. 

Danielle moaned. "Dad," she complained. Everyone began to laugh again. 

"Come on," Janell said. "Let's go bother my mom." 

Author's Note: If you managed to get to the end of this story, I'm
surprised. I wrote this the day before Christmas because at the time I
was still thinking of good presents to give everyone. Fortunately, I
didn't have to give this one to anyone as a present, but decided to put
on the Internet, anyway. Please, no flames. Comments are welcome.