Jezika Meets Methos Kathy Walsh The Usual Disclaimers Apply--I-ay on't-day own-ay Ar-stay Ek-tray or-ay Orever-Fay Ight-knay. Archive permission is granted to fkfanfic, the ftp site, Lisa, whomever else to whom I've granted permission in the past, and the site archiving in the interim for fkfanfic is hereby granted permission to archive all my stuff. Hey, I'm a sucker for fame. If you want to archive, just tell me where. Jezika (Jeh-ZEE-kuh) is my own character, and I'm amenable to letting people use her in their stories if they ask nicely. Oh, and I haven't had this story betaed. I'm just too impatient to wait any longer after writing. This is number two in the Jezika series. The first story is "Jezika Does Toronto." I'd strongly recommend reading it for background. Jezika Meets Methos Kathy Walsh Jezika plopped her face into her petite hands and rolled her eyes. "This is ridiculous," she moaned, muffled by her hands, "I quit again already, Goddess!" Suddenly she was standing outside another drinking establishment.... The shorter woman of the pair standing there looked at the bright neon sign proclaiming "Joe's." She sighed long-sufferingly. This jumping around places was starting to get on her nerves, and the head-banging she'd received earlier hadn't helped one bit. Suddenly, Jezika realized she was not alone. The blonde woman--Tracy, as she'd introduced herself--had also been yanked along on this crazy trip. Tracy looked slightly ill. "Your goddess must be incredibly powerful! What religion are you?" Jezika smiled, a little dazed at the unusual things that had happened to her since she'd received the news of her sister's death. "Well, it's not so much a religion as it is a personal philosophy. Since I'm a really linguistically-oriented person, I like the idea of a goddess who is," she paused to think of the term she wanted, "like an all- powerful writer of the universe. I like to write and read, so that's how I view existance." The blonde grinned sweetly back. "That's really nice! I wonder if there's some kind of detective goddess...." "Hey, you never know. So what relig--hello!" Jezika glimpsed a tall, slight man as he slunk his way to the aforementioned drinking establishment. Tracy snickered at her companion. "OK, Jessica. Yeah, he's good- looking, but you don't have to be so obvious about it. Close your mouth, girlfriend." Jezika, somewhat startled, looked back at Tracy. "Huh? What? Oh. Yeah, he is pretty attractive! Actually, I wasn't even thinking of that. It's uncanny; he looks just like a character from my favorite holo-novel!" "Holo-novel? What's a holo-novel?" asked Tracy as her fellow transportee dashed over to the man. "Hi! How are you? I just wanted to tell you," Jezika babbled at the nasally-advantaged man, "that you look just EXACTLY like the young Dixon Hill from 'Dix's Tricks'! It's so awesome--what's your name?" Smiling a bit caustically at the apparently crazy voice behind him, Methos turned around, prepared to give the name "Adam Pierson." Faced with the sight of a familiar-looking brunette with spots, however, he was disconcerted enough that it sounded like "Madam Pierson." To cover his embarrassing mistake, and in an attempt to discover why she affected him so strangely, he asked her name. "Jessica," she responded, a little disappointed that he seemed to have no idea who the young Dixon Hill was. Did Earth people not play their own holo-novels? "Jessica? Wait a second... I think I know you. Or maybe I've read about you. Or maybe," he reasoned, narrowing his eyes, "you're a Trill from 'Star Trek.' Am I right?" Jezika was slightly relieved that Madam Pierson, at least, had heard of her species. "Actually, yes, I am a Trill. My name is actually pronounced Jezika." Methos rolled his eyes. This was definitely the craziest Trekkie he'd ever met. Her next statement, however, confused his theory. "What's 'Star Trek'? Some sort of travel company?" By this time, Tracy had come up to the chatting pair. "Hey, guys, how's it going?" she asked, understandably somewhat nervous after her traveling experience sank in. Methos' and Tracy's jaws dropped simultaneously. "Methos!" Tracy shrieked. "Tracy Vetter!" Methos yelled, former Horsemen being too dignified to shriek. "But I thought you were fiction," Tracy said as Methos sighed, "I always knew you were real." "This is weird," Jezika interjected. "What's going on here?" "Well, see," Tracy began, "he's from this show called 'Highlander.'" "'Highlander'? As if!" Methos broke in. Sending a mock-stern look in his direction, Tracy continued, "He's a 5000 year old guy named Methos who's disguising himself as a grad student named Adam Pierson." Methos continued the explanation, "And she's Detective Tracy Vetter from the third season of 'Forever Knight.'" "'Knight'? As if!" Tracy broke in. Rolling his eyes at the blonde, Methos resumed with, "But I thought you died in LK!" Squinting skeptically at him, Tracy inquired, "What the heck are you talking about?" "Uh... may I cut in here?" asked Jezika. "If you're both fictional, where are we and what am I?" Methos said in a reasonable tone, "You're fictional, too. You're from 'Star Trek'--that's a TV show. Oh, wait, you probably don't know what TV is. It's like 2-D non-interactive holo-novels. As to what's going on, if we're all fictional, we must be switching into each other's universes! I just don't know how it's happening." Tracy helpfully piped up with, "Last time she invoked some literary goddess and we suddenly popped up here." Dropping her head into her hands, Jezika started to mutter, "Oh, Goddess, this is too crazy for me. This is insane. I just wish I could...." Methos gasped in shock and near-panic. "I've read this fanfic series before, and I remember what the next story is about! Oh, no, this is bad! We've got to find a way to avoid the next story, or--" Jezika raised her head imploringly to the sky and sighed, "...quit this crazy business." Jezika, Tracy and Methos found themselves in a desert. The sand whipped around their feet as a shadow appeared against the rising sun.... * * * * * Next time: Kathy writes an adventurous story (or at least intends to)! Comments, please, to piccolo_kathy@hotmail.com (Is this a series with popular support? Come on, fanfic Nielsons!) :o)